Poetry Corner: 'We Are Santander'

"We are Santander.....

"....and we don't care !"

absolutely terrible bank - never been worse - especially if you are an Attorney from someone - dreadful - suitable words escape me......

You've got it all wrong busy bee. Santander is a great bank.

Your problem is that you're a customer . My privatised Abbey shares were converted to Santander and all they do is send me lovely dividend cheques about four times a year.

berngram

How are the Santander shares doing now? Was it a 1 for 1 exchange for the Abbey Shares.? I bought 3000 shares soon after they were launched and managed to sell then for £13.90 back in 1999. I took the profits to use as a deposit on a BTL house and that almost tripled in value before selling it 8 years later, good dividends from that too...

Dickery, Dickery Dock

Santander wound up its clock,

It gobbled up AL and it gobbled A,

Oh what a happy?, crappy day,

Now what to do, a Flamenco or two?

How about a grab at the Treasury too?

This is song to the tune of Summer Time Blues with credit to Eddie Cochrane and The Who;

I'm gonna raise a fuss

And I'm gonna raise a holler!

I've been working all my life

Just to try to raise a dollar.

Every time I call Abbey

To sort their fraud mistake; no dice son, account closed you're to f***in late.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a gonna do

Cos there aint no cure for the 'Sintander' Blues.

Well my father went and told me

Son we're gonna get your money.

We've got 'Sintander' by the b*****ks

You'll have it by this Sunday.

Antonio he says; 'rubber cheques or not: we're not paying up, you mouthy little sot!'

And then I got to wonder what I was gonna do

I could see no cure for the 'Sintander' Blues'!

So we took a break and told it to the Police station

And wrote on the blog of the Citywire websation.

Victoria she said, and this is a quote; 'I want to tell your story to the whole UK nation'.

And now 'Sintander' will wonder,

What they are gonna do:

Cos we're going to show them some real Summer Time Blues.

Well Victoria did the trick;

Liam quickly got his money.

But he's telling his story to the BBC TV Station.

If 'Sintander' think that 50 quid will do the trick;

Antoni Horta-Osorio really is a little thick.

And now 'Sintander' knows what the little man can do:

Because we've given them the 'Full Bore Bewey Blues'.

got no style

got no service

got no phones

got no staff

but got your money

so just get lost