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John Carlin's England verdict: 'Dull, disjointed crap'

But why did England entrust their fortunes to a foreign manager?

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by John Carlin on Jun 14, 2010 at 12:39

John Carlin's England verdict: 'Dull, disjointed crap'

'Good job I didn't put Robert Green in my fantasy World Cup team ... '

None of the other great footballing nations would stand for it.

Not Brazil, nor Argentina, nor Italy, nor Germany, nor Spain, nor France would dream of appointing a foreigner as the coach of their national football team.

Yet the English, the game´s inventors and the most proudly insular (polite for jingoistic xenophobic, misanthropic etc) nation on planet earth, not only fail to express any outrage when their footballing authorities’ name, first, a Swede, then an Italian, as the commander-in-chief - the Wellington - of their footballing army, each time they welcome the appointment with the fervour of religious nuts desperate to believe they have come face to face with the redeemer.

Manager with brain
Sven Goran Eriksson was celebrated for his smooth intelligence, his superior footballing brain.

He was the man who would bring tactical nous and continental style to the slapdash muscularity of the English game. He delivered neither nous nor style, managing along the way to drain from England’s best eleven the one quality for which the world had always admired them, their never-say-die spirit.

When Fabio Capello took over from that hapless English interloper, Steve McClaren, a couple of years ago relief, joy, hope and a marvellously contagious faith seized the land.

‘Peace in our time ...’
The last time the country had experienced such sensations was when Winston Churchill took over as prime minister from Neville Chamberlain (the Steve McClaren, wally with the brolly of 20th century British politics) at the start of the Second World War.

And the feeling had not abated right up to the start of this current World Cup, despite the manifest fact that England, while solid enough in qualifying for the tournament against weak opposition, played, mostly, dull, disjointed crap. As they did in the long anticipated inaugural match against the United States on Saturday night, the one that ended in a dreadful 1-1 draw.

Putting aside the spectacular misfortune of the goalkeeper, Robert Green, who will be waking up screaming in the middle of the night about that goal he let in when he is 75, unless he shoots himself first, poor fella, it was the same old, same old England.

No pattern to the play, no discernible style and an inability to string more than four passes together, except maybe, every now and then, in their own half. Capello – who understands English with difficulty and speaks it with, shall we say, courage - recognised as much after the game when he said that what had made him ‘happy’ about his team’s performance had been ‘the English spirit, the spirit of a team that fights always to win back the ball … that runs a lot’

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10 comments so far. Why not have your say?

English players are vastly overrated and grossly overpaid.Capello has very little to choose from as our players are second rate in world terms nowadays and with so many foreigners playing for the top premier league clubs this will not change.I see no reason to believe that we will ever win the world cup again,Thank god I was around to see the 1966 triumph, which was a fantastic occasion to witness.

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How fickle the English are....England strolled through the qualifiers...including on the way, Croatia both home and away...we get 1 slightly dodgy performance v USA and now the dogs are in full pursuit of the (managerial) bait...why take part in these competitions if the national psyche expects the team to win every game (and by some margin everytime)...England did not do that in 1966 and look what happened in the end!!

I bet David Beckham is glad this time around, that he is not fit to play otherwise he would be taking a pile of stick.

Lets judge England over the whole tournament ( please!!)

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I think the 1-1 result is the best thing that could have happened, and Green will turn to have been the hero. The problem too often with the English team is their willingness to rest on their laurels when in the lead, and to not play with an aggressive desire to win from the start.

1-1 and lots of criticism is just what is needed (more please everyone!) to sting them into action and desire to win. We have been given a chance...

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Poor article. You are essentially blaming Capello for one goalkeeper's freak mistake. The swing between love and hate of our national team hangs on a knife edge.

Just get behind them without expectations that they will win the world cup, and without vilifying them for being paid handsomely.

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I have no problem with paying good players handsomely. I guess you mean paying some price rather below that of the Prime Minister's £150,000 plus perks per year. That must be around £2000 a week let's say - if they do a great job (after all its only a game, and maybe they can only expect to be on the ball and at the top for a 5 year term).

So as long as they work really well all week, concentrate at crucial times, and their electorate on the terraces agree to pay such high wages of £2000 per week, I go along with "keeping" them as likely players for their country (first) and premier team (second).

Or am I expecting too much of people who should be sharp in mind and body if they are to represent us all?

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I'm more worried about the 30% increase in drunken morons who , when their Ingerr-land deliver a bad performance , go home and beat the wife or girlfriend up .

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dont forget Wellington was not an Englishman either, he was born in Dublin Ireland......

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I agree with Gary and Tim. This article is nonsense(to say it politely), as it blames the Manager because he is a foreigner. Before Capello,England had an English manager, but he was a disaster and did not last long. English players are too loaded with money, too heavy to run.

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Wellington was indeed born in Dublin (I've been to the house) however he denied he was Irish saying: ''One can be born in a stable and not be a horse!''.

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martin davison

Jun 18, 2010 at 23:22

i have been watching england for 40 years and they are no different from any england team i have ever seen. they promise so much but deliver nothing.

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